screwed

for the 1st time
i say WHAT THE FUCK to her... ahah

random!

he sees her almost everyday...
she seems so cold.... no respond....great....but ...

even he sees her everyday, he still miss her very much...

he do not miss her, but he miss who he thought she was...

scratches!!

is weird...
nobody is gonna read this because this blog was being abandoned for a long time...

im too bored... drop by my own blog and write a brand new post..
i really wish i could tell everything that wrap inside my heart now... however, sometimes words could not really describe it... perhaps i do not know how to express myself through words and sentences...
am i right? well, doesnt feel alright this lately.... unexpected unwanted undesirable things happened...

dont even know how to solve it.... dont even know how to manage it...
let it be? eventually? freak... if i could!

is time to shut...

im confused, im moodless,
im rejected, im nothing,
im meaningless, im useless,
im lost.

i lost myself bcoz i'd lost everything...
i dont even know who am i now.........

frankly, i would choose to die earlier if it doesnt influence anyone...
is time for me to shut down this blog...

me,
feeling empty

Barry Manilow - Even Now

i came across this song...i feel it...that's y i like it...is slow,emo,sad,sad,sad....

Even now

When there's someone else who cares

When there's someone home who's waiting

just for me

Even now i think about you

As I'm climbing up the stairs

And I wonder what to do so she won't see

That even now

When I knew it wasn't right

And i found a better life than what we had

Even now i wake up crying in the middle of the night

And I can't believe it still could hurt so bad

Even now when I have come so far

I wonder where you are

I wonder why it's still so hard without you

Even now when i come shinin' through

I swear I think of you

And how i wish you knew

Even now

Even now when i never hear your name

And the world has changed so much since

you've been gone

Even now i still remember

And the feeling's still the same

And this pain inside of me goes on and on

Even now when i have come so far

I wonder where you are

I wonder why it's still so hard without you

Even now when i come shinin' through

I swear i think of you

And how i wish you knew

Even now

Even now

dead....

i wrote something to post,
but i erase everything before i publish...
i would like to share my thought,but im afraid of sharing...

if only i could turn back the time.
everything would be different...

if only... if only...if only...
if only doesnt exists! it is just an imagination after all..

...Taman Negara...

Eighteen December Two Thousand Six...
my last trip in the year two double zero six...
Pahang National Park!!

Im the last person who reached school due to my red eyes! 0_0..
At first i thought the bus kilang that take us to Pahang will be the lousy 1...those we always see but i was darn hapee n shocked to see that bus kilang is like high class 1 and clean!..ahah... i mean just like Persiaran Bus. hey, it consider damn good for a Kilang Bus!!
Transport by bus took us around 4hours+... and i learned something new in the bus weh!!

we were playing this game call ice-breaking..okay fine... first we have to write our name,group name and our favourite WILD animal... still fine... After that, we have to tell everyone what we wrote and it start from the front seats to the back seats... so i started with Hyena,then slowly to the back elaine:whale,michelle:tiger,kokchong:leopard and other vball players...still ok... after around 20 peoples to the back, i started hearing WILD animals such as dog!,cat!,puppy!,kitten!,bird!,insects! and ahhahaha...... i started laughing!! hahahaa... i was being punished because couldnt remember someone's favourite wild animal, so i have to immitate tiger's sound with mic on! i took the mic and "miowwwww"....ahhahaha........ that's how tiger sound like! haha...

okay then from tembeling jeti or watever it call, it took us another almost 3hours by boat to reach our destination... quite boring but okay la, Rainforest mah!! masuk hutan guna bot papan!! against the current that's y 3 hours...
check in, makan , night trek, and blablabla... saw tarantula,scorpion,and many rare insects... maklumlah, kita ni orang bandar!! ahhaaha... hauwei,elaine,michelle, and i were like "wah!! check this out!" " wah this wah that!" ..the guide sure say " cis, budak Bandar"..like we always say "budak kampong!"...ahahaa....
all the 3 days were just fine, no rushing, bfast,lunch,dinner all good!! almost 3quarter of the people are scared of leech! started jumping whenever they have to stand, even put salt into their shoes for prevention! salt no need money 1...haha... well, i brought lighter with me... hehe...
the most funniest person was Alwin!! one of the organiser! He got bullied by everyone and we laugh non-stop because of his "stupidity",especially the PENYU time!! those who were with us, sure know bout it!.. he talk non-stop!! but he is really happy-go-lucky person! crap, i can still remember how he conduct the PENYU!! ahahha.....

Not much to describe the whole thing... balik time, the 1st and 2nd boat almost chikababom!! almost la! instead of bang to the 1st boat, the 2nd boat avoid the 1st boat by doing PIU YI and bang the "semak"...lol! 1st boat bang to the land...nothing happen la, just a little bit shocked... the 1st boat was avoiding a timber wood anyway...
reach jeti within 1 hour++....
the last night, porcupine came into our hostel!! really became huuhaa there!! at first, everyone was darn excited watching it, and suddenly it came back and attack us!! all running around!! imagine,from 40+ppl suddenly u see noone outside!! ahha.... hauwei and i were in our room, then it came knocked our door! i wanted to open the door and have a look at it! Hauwei "eh chinkeat,no no! i'll kill u!" i jsut wanna have look at it near! not letting it come in ler...but hauwei was standing at the door..so ahahaa... it chase everyone into the room and then it disappeared!
the last night there also darn heavy rain! super duper heavy and nonstop from 7pm to 9am! luckily it stop a while for us to travel back to jeti by boat... then bus then reach home....hmmm...

AND... michelle got the most numbers of mosquito kiss! aha...damn, something bitten me and lebam bengkak like hell!! as big as a punch! went clinic took injection on my buttock!! now still itchy but not so big anymore... cant even stand and walk long distance before this...

Below are some photos taken..lazy to upload, so just few..ehhe...